Room to Grow — Opal and Lola

A friend was over recently meeting Opal and Lola and watching Luke and Annabel in their new roles. Annabel gave the girls a photo from my desk of the girls' foster family and said, Look! And my first reflex was to say No, it might upset them (me). I caught myself. They stared at the picture and passed it to each other and made cooing sounds and then went on playing. Now the photo is on the refrigerator for easy viewing and handling.

That moment opened up a lot for me to look at and notice about myself. I was surprised by my reaction since I've been saying and believing all along that I've wanted the girls to know as much as they can about their backgrounds, whatever we can find out, and to maintain contact with their foster family. But then there comes this feeling out of an alert and fearful place saying, They're mine. I'm okay with unforeseen feelings but in this case I am going to have to be vigilant because I owe it to these girls to override those limiting feelings of fear and (mostly self) protection. I understand that the feeling came from a place of love that has grown between the girls and me to a point where I know them to be our family. It's a good thing that moment happened early on and that I noticed it because I think I'll have a few more like that in front of me. We are experiencing growth and it has bumpy edges sometimes.

I can't speak for what the girls feel but they seem very happy and we love each other. When does the quiet moment occur that says, Home, to them. I do not know. So I really enjoy the humdrum days and quiet times that might speed that knowing to them. Maybe they already know. I hope they do.

Quiet visit to a sandbox.  Shoes on, girl please. — Quiet visit to a sandbox. Shoes on, girl please.

This kid Finn is a gem, you are always welcome here.

People continue to stop by and say hi. I love the people who invite themselves over. Do it. (I'll try to remember to invite you over too. Do not feel left out, reader-who-knows-me. There's a reason why we chose a house with no formal dining room, not that occasions like these call for it but you understand).

We have a few doctor appointments ahead of us for the girls eczema but it seems under control. Apple cider vinegar baths, oatmeal baths and hydrocortisone seem to be the ticket, over and over.

My mom and brother are in town and they are enjoying the new home dynamic. The girls warmed up to them right away and even enjoy being held by them, a large feat.

That lame stroller tip-over weeks ago is still doing a number on my left leg so, not as much typical gym activity for me until it heals. A friend turned me on to early morning hot yoga. All my workouts are basically early morning, it's friendly on the schedule. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet but the good news is I didn't pass out and I sweat a lot. Not as bad as I did in Guanzhou when Mark and I realized in thousand degree heat and humidity that we had to carry the girls in their strollers up and down 4 or 6 flights of stairs in an underground tunnel to get to the other side of a busy street that had no external crosswalk. That was insane and if I can do that I can do hot yoga. The girls continue to offer me upper body resistance at 20 lbs each. Here's to healing that leg and moving forward.